


December 18: naughtiest reindeer of them all

by dizzy, savvymavvy



Series: 2017 (the darkest timeline) daily fic advent [18]
Category: Glee RPF
Genre: Daddy Kink, Dirty Talk, Light BDSM, M/M, Pet Play, Sex Toys, Threesome, committed but open relationship, pet play related sex toys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-18
Updated: 2017-12-18
Packaged: 2019-02-16 21:24:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13062432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dizzy/pseuds/dizzy, https://archiveofourown.org/users/savvymavvy/pseuds/savvymavvy
Summary: Prompts:- pornstar!verse (it’s all I want for christmas this year ha)- pornstar!verse (I'm gonna keep on prompting this so hopefully it'll be in there once)- Pornstar!verse- Our mutual friend invites us to go shopping with them and it’s kind of awkward and now you’re pushing them around the mall in a shopping cart and you’re both screaming like excited children and I’m paying the cashier and pretending I don’t know either of you- DRUNKEN CAROLLING (”that’s not a thing” “oh yes it is”)





	December 18: naughtiest reindeer of them all

**Author's Note:**

> a/n: 
> 
> we enjoyed writing this, hope you enjoy even if you don't normally do threesomes you should give it a go - Mav
> 
> i'm not sorry. for anything. - Mandy

“Drunken caroling is _absolutely_ a thing, Cee!” Darren insists, holding his ground despite Chris’s growing skepticism. “I mean how else are you supposed to go door to door and sing overly sentimental Christmas carols than without healthy dose of whiskey with a bit of ‘nog in it?” 

“Your endless resources of shamelessnes?” Joey offers from where he sits on the couch, Wookie beside him and bowl of popcorn in his lap. 

Darren just glares. “Not helping Joe Bear.” 

“Look, I’m not saying that it’s not physically possible to go caroling while drunk,” Chris says. “I have every bit of faith that you can physically get drunk and then go door to door singing obnoxiously in people’s faces. I just don’t think it’s quite a _done_ think like you seem to be implying it is. Also, I don’t think we each need a fifth of whiskey to count as a ‘healthy dose’ - this amount is more like a festive hangover in the making.” 

He looks down at the cart where Darren’s got four different kinds of eggnog, some in flavor combinations that are slightly nauseating if you ask Chris, and more alcohol than Chris would buy if he were trying to stock a party - much less a casual night with Darren and Joey. 

“Also,” Chris says, pointing a finger. “Don’t think I don’t know that you’re just trying to get me drunk enough to wear the sexy santa outfit, too. I’m not falling for your tricks.”

Darren sulks. “You would look so _good_ though! And with that hat and suspenders! And with Joey as an elf!” 

“Who were you going as again?” Joey asks, grabbing another gallon of nog and adding it to the cart. He knows, he just enjoys how the tips of Chris’s ears go pink each time Darren talks about it. It’s cute, how Chris can still get embarrassed considering how long he’s been around them. 

“Rudolph, duh!” Darren grins and shakes his ass. “Gonna light the way and give Santa a riiiiiide…” He begins making obscene hand motions in the middle of the store, making Joey quietly cackle behind Chris. 

“I mean, your nose does get kind of red when you’re drunk, and you do really like it when I use the riding crop on you…” Chris trails off a little, then remembers what he was arguing against and shakes his head to clear away the distraction. “I mean, no! I am not going out in public wearing that. Do you know how much I’d hear about that from Alla if someone spotted me? I’m a brand now, apparently. I have to _maintain_ the brand.” 

Even as he says it he’s slightly frustrated by it. He looks at the refrigerated case beside him and then reaches in to pull out a can of spray whipped cream. After a moment’s consideration, he gets a second can as well. They really go through that stuff sometimes. 

“Look, Alla won’t _know_ \--” 

“Uh…” Joey starts to say (he’s still very, very scared of Alla ever since the Toledo incident). 

“We’re just gonna go around the neighborhood and they all _know_ us, they’re not gonna say anything.” Darren waves his hands and pulls Cee a bit closer, fingers curled into his belt loops. “Besides, wouldn’t it be fun? Just drink some spiked warm cider or eggnog, go to our friends houses and sing merry christmas… They’ve all seen my ass by now anyways.” Darren grinds ever so slightly against Chris, not enough to be indecent in the middle of a Target but just enough to be tempting. 

Chris sighs. He’s already losing this battle. He can’t resist that pout, he can’t resist Darren trying to start new traditions that are all for them. 

(Even if those traditions might potentially get them arrested.) 

“Just around the neighborhood,” Chris says. “And we’re not drinking too much. And I’m not wearing assless santa pants, no matter how much you beg.” 

The way Darren’s face lights up makes Chris’s stomach flip happily. He leans in and gives Darren a quick kiss on the mouth. 

Joey pretends to gag beside them. “Excuse me, there are _children_ around here. Innocent, impressionable young Joeys who don’t need to be exposed to this kind of gross display of affection from you two. You might set entirely inappropriate examples, like leading me to believe that people in long term relationships can still enjoy doing things together and have a sex life.” 

“Aw, Joseph,” Darren coos, reaching out to bring him in close for a hug. “You’ll find someone to have a long term relationship full of weird sexual adventures with. I just know it.” 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Joey smiles softly and pats Darren on the shoulder, giving Chris’s a squeeze before he slips away to go find some salty snacks to add to their basket and give Chris and Darren a _moment_. 

“So, you’ll wear those pants at home for me right?” Darren asks quietly, voice hopeful as he thinks of all the different things they could do with Chris in a pair of assless pants. 

“How about…” Chris says slowly, whispering into Darren’s ear like he’s telling him a secret. “It can be our own little twelve days of Christmas. Every night I agree to wear just one part of the outfit… until on the night before Christmas… you get me in the assless red velour of your dreams.” 

He definitely _doesn’t_ cup Darren’s ass and squeeze as he says that, because they’re in a grocery store right now and that would be totally inappropriate. 

Totally. Definitely. Very. Inappropriate. 

“Jeeeeesus,” Joey groans, walking back around the corner just in time to see. He dumps three bags of potato chips and a box of microwave popcorn into the cart. “Seriously. I can’t take you guys anywhere.” 

Darren ignores Joey. Little Darren is far too focused to be distracted by something like Joey. 

He groans and shifts his hips into Chris, definitely grinding into him now. “Oh, you know just what I like don’t you?” It’s rhetorical, of course Cee does. Darren turns his head into Chris’s neck and presses a kiss there, groaning when Chris gives his ass a squeeze. He really needs to pull away before he makes a scene here in the grocery store Alla will be really upset about. 

Summoning his strength, Darren pulls away, a very obvious bulge in his pants where he is beginning to get hard. 

“Jesus--” Joey sighs behind them again, throwing up his hands. 

“Joey,” Chris says, looking at him. He props his chin on Darren’s shoulder as he talks. “You may buy one bottle of any kind of alcohol you want, price is not an option.” 

Joey’s jaw drops. His eyes narrow. “Anything?” 

“Anything,” Chris swears. 

Joey fist pumps. “Grind away, my good friends. Grind away.” 

*

“I can ride my cart further than you can.” 

“No you can’t, you’ve got like 5 gallons of eggnog in there! That would like, totally weigh you down man.” Darren adds a few more bags of corn chips to his cart while Chris is down another aisle getting Adult Items. 

“Nah, but I am way better at this than you are. And stronger. And my cart is better. I would go further than you.” 

“Fuck no. You’re on Richter. You and me, racing down this aisle, winner gets his dick sucked.” 

Joey’s shit eating grin is huge. “You’re so fucking on.” 

They back up to the beginning of the aisle where Darren names where they run to and counts down before they take off, running to the beginning of the Lay’s chips before they both jump onto the back of their carts, riding down the aisle.

Darren whoops loudly as he begins to take the lead, edging in front of Joey but Chris comes around the side of the aisle, bottles of lube in hand and stares at them both, distracting Darren enough that he veers off his path, hitting a chip display and coming to a halt. Joey sails past, shouting triumphantly as he slows down well ahead of Darren and into the pretzels already. 

“I win, I win! Guess who’s getting head!” Joey pumps his arms in the air. 

 

Chris hears them before he even sees them. He can also hear, in a distant place in the back of his mind, what the manager will sound like as he shouts at them for knocking over displays, and then what Alla will sound like as she shouts at Chris for getting his name and picture in the papers for the most absolutely ridiculous types of public disturbance. He’s literally envisioning the headline as he walks up to them: That Gay One From Glee Caught Vandalizing Store with Copious Amounts of Alcohol, Sexual Lubricants. 

“No,” he says, in firm voice that Darren may or may not call his _dad voice_. “You both stop what you are doing right now and get off of those carts.” 

Darren pulls away from the cart and hurries over to Chris’s side with his metaphorical tail tucked between his legs. 

“It was Joey’s idea, he started it.”

Joey sighs and shakes his head. “Dick whipped,” he coughs into his fist. 

“Sorry babe I’ll, uh, put this away.” Darren quickly begins to put the display he ruined back together, glaring at Joey until he steps in to help. 

*

Chris can’t even remember why they own red lipstick, but when he walks into the living room after his shower he finds Darren straddling Joey’s lap while Joey circles the lipstick messily around Darren’s nose. Darren’s already wearing felt reindeer antlers. Tossed over the back of the couch is the Santa t-shirt that Chris is going to wear under the red silk shorts with suspenders that Darren bought. 

It’s definitely not the sexy assless Santa costume, but Chris meant what he said: they’ll work their way up to that one… privately. 

Chris can see that both Darren and Joey have already helping themselves to the spiked nog. “We made you one,” Joey says, pointing at the table. 

It’s only then that Chris notices how Joey’s dick is out, looking cheery and pink against his green elf shorts. Apparently they started the festivities early in more ways than one. 

Darren grins over at Chris as Joey finishes off his nose. “Gotta catch up babe.” 

“Quit moving,” Joey mumbles, tongue coming out as he concentrates to get the nose just right.

“I thought you wanted me to move…” Darren shifts slightly in Joey’s lap, his hand stroking Joey’s cock ever so slowly. 

“Yeah but not your whole body. At least not yet.” 

Darren hums and stills everything but his hand as he lazily strokes Joey while Chris sits down beside them. “Hey babe. Looking good.” He wiggles his eyebrows and leans over, kissing Chris a bit messily. He’s had an entire glass of eggnog already and he’s feeling _good_ especially with Chris right here and Joey warm and willing underneath his legs. 

Chris slides his hands down Darren’s chest. “No shirt for you? Either of you?” He asks, also skating his eyes over Joey’s bare chest. “You realize we’re all very lucky that it’s California and we can actually dress like this even though it’s December.” 

“All the more reason for you to lose the shirt, Santa.” Joey wiggles his eyebrows. 

Chris snorts. “No thanks. Are you gonna get him off?” The last question is directed at Darren. 

“Eventually,” Darren shrugs, keeping his hand slow. “I was waiting for you.” Darren enjoys when Chris is able to be there and direct them and Darren can get Chris going just by him watching Darren play with Joey. 

“He owes me a blowjob and he’s being a tease is what he’s doing.” Joey grumbles and shifts on the couch, giving Darren a significant look. 

“Aww, Joe Bear want his dick sucked?” 

“Duh.” 

Darren snorts and reaches behind him for his drink, grabbing it and drinking it slowly. He pulls it away where he’s got a line of white cream around his mouth. Chris stares straight at his mouth and Darren smirks. 

“What do you say Santa?” 

“I say Joey’s been a nice boy, so he gets a present.” Chris kneels behind Darren so that they’re both on Joey’s lap, though Darren’s still the only one actually touching Joey. “And Santa wants to see just how good you’ve gotten at that. How fast can you make him come, baby?” 

Chris wraps both arms around Darren and presses his own dick against the small of Darren’s back. 

Darren whines quietly and tries to grind back into Chris but Chris is strong and keeps him from getting too much friction going. “Ah, ah-- this is for Joey. Be a good boy or you don’t get to play later tonight.” 

Darren settles and does what Chris tells him, leaning down to take Joey’s cock in his mouth and suckling on the end of it gently. 

“Oooh, _fuck_ \--” Joey breathes, letting his head fall back onto the couch. One hand comes around to grip his fingers in Darren’s hair and pull him down a bit more. “Your mouth is too fucking talented Dare.” He keeps his hip movements shallow, just tiny little thrusts as Darren’s eyes close and he just takes a moment to enjoy the weight of Joey’s dick on his tongue and the salty taste in his mouth. 

Chris rubs a gentle hand up and down the small of Darren’s back. Darren’s still the most flexible person he’s ever met, even now that flexibility is basically part of Chris’s job description with the increasing level of choreography on the show. 

He can’t see Joey coming but he can still tell when Joey comes by the way he groans low and his mouth drops open and the flush no his face crawls down his chest. 

“Swallow like a good boy,” Chris says softly, reaching around Darren to cup his throat and feel it when he does. 

Darren does so, taking his time with it and giving Joey one last suck before popping off and turning to Chris, dragging him into a kiss. He doesn’t hesitate from slipping his tongue past Chris’s lips and teasing him, they’ve both shared far more than a post-come kiss. 

“Mmm, ‘s good.” Darren mumbles against Chris’s lips. Darren slips a hand under Chris’s shirt, his fingers gently stroking over Chris’s abs, still a fairly new development. 

Joey sits beneath them, still catching his breath but enjoying watching them make out all the same. 

“Okay, come on,” Chris says, deciding that both his own and Darren’s hard ons can wait. Darren’s gotta earn it, and Chris… well, Chris just wants to get this over with. “We have carols waiting to be sung.” 

“Nuh uh,” Joey says, pointing to Chris’s glass again. “You’re behind.” 

Chris rolls his eyes and sighs and picks it up, chugging. He almost chokes on the first swallow. It tastes like vaguely nog flavored whiskey. Emphasis on the vague. “Jesus Christ,” he says, wheezing. But he can take this like a man, he… thinks. He upends the glass and manages to drain it. 

Before he’s even done Darren is popping up off his spot on Joey’s lap and heading into the kitchen. He comes back with three obnoxiously Christmas themed travel mugs. 

“Drinks to go?” Chris says, rolling his eyes. He already feels a little woozy. “Of course.” 

“Tis the season!” Darren sings, grabbing Chris again and running his hands up underneath his shirt to pull him into another nog flavored kiss. 

Darren may be feeling the affects of his two drinks already. Maybe. 

“Mm, you taste amazing.” 

“You probably taste like come and booze, how romantic.” Joey comments, coming up behind Chris to sandwich him in between them both. “So, we know what we’re singing or we winging this entirely?”

“Winging it,” Darren answers before giving a shrug. “I mean Frosty, Jingle balls--Bells!” 

“Hah! You said balls!” Joey cackles. 

“JINGLE BALLS JINGLE BALLS JINGLE ALL THE DAAAAY!” Darren begins to sing. 

“OH WHAT FUN IT IS TO SUCK CAUSE WE’RE ALL REALLY GAY!” Joey finishes. 

“Aren’t you bi?” Chris asks Joey. 

Joey throws up his arms and shrugs. “I just like putting my dick in places!” 

Chris winces. “Please never go near actual reindeer.” 

Darren cackles. “Joey isn’t bi he’s _polysexual_ \--” Darren sing-songs. “Utterly ambivalent to where his dick ends up as long as it’s somewhere hot, tight and wet.” 

Joey snorts. “I am discerning enough not to put it in actual reindeer thanks. I just meant I like putting it in places on people.” 

“Any place on a person…?” 

“Wha--Not _any_ place!” Joey sighs and pulls back. “Just you know, the butt. Or mouth. Or vagina.” 

“Or hand.”

“Okay or hand.” 

“Or foot.” 

“....”

“Joey don’t pretend like it didn’t happen. You like it on anywhere in a person be okay with who you are.” Darren is fighting back a grin but Joey just sighs quietly. 

“I like it anywhere on a person, happy now?”

“But not nostrils, right?” Chris asks. 

Yeah, he’s definitely feeling the drink. That hit fast. 

“Ew no it wouldn’t fit!” 

“... you sure?” Chris pretends to look speculatively down. 

Joey huffs. “I’m sure.” 

“What about armpit?” Darren asks. 

Joey thinks about it. “Not ruling armpit out. I mean it’s not like, top of the list. Not even top ten. But I wouldn’t rule it out.” 

“You are a disgusting human being,” Chris says, even while mentally filing that away. 

“Disgusting elf,” Joey corrects. 

“Disgusting _elf_.” Chris reaches down and offers both hands to help Joey up, giving him a smacking kiss on the lips once Joey’s on his feet. 

Darren is already by the door whining. 

“Come down boy, you’re like a dog,” Joey huffs. 

“Not a dog, a reindeer,” Darren corrects. “However, later…” He trails off and looks over towards their playroom where certain toys are tucked away. 

“Later,” Chris smirks, thinking of… Santa’s bag of toys. 

Darren _wiggles_ , his reindeer tail shaking back and forth. “Yesss, let’s go boys!”

*

They’re onto their third house, halfway through their to-go drinks and Chris has lost his shirt somewhere. Darren is having a blast. So far they’ve had one couple break into laughter and another join them in singing and Darren is counting this as a win all around. He has the best ideas. 

“You look so good Cee. Did I tell you that? SO good.” Darren says earnestly as they move on to the next house. His antlers are a little askew and his red nose is a bit smeared but he’s having so much fun. 

“A few times,” Chris says, giggling to himself. “Not as good as you, though.” 

Chris is really, really glad that Darren decided to go totally shirtless… especially now that he’s not waxing his chest hair anymore. He’s nice and fuzzy and tanned and… 

And Chris is distracted. 

“What next?” He asks, stumbling slightly into Joey and grabbing onto Joey’s hips to keep himself upright. “What about Grandma Got Run Over By Reindeer?” 

“Ethically sound,” Joey says, nodding. “Good choice.” 

“I don’t want to run over anyone’s Grandma, though,” Darren says with a pout. “Do I have to?” 

“You’re just singing,” Chris reminds him. “Not running over anyone.” 

“I’ll run you over--” Darren whispers, moving in front of Chris and grinding their hips together. Neither one of them are wearing much more than boxers at this point and it feels fantastic. 

“Lets go Rudolph, Santa… we still got a house to go!” Joey hurries over to the door to ring the bell, Darren grabs Chris’s hand and drags him to the doorstep right as it opens. They do a fairly good, if drunken, rendition of Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer before segueing into Little Drummer Boy, complete with Chris and Joey providing rump-pah-pah-pums. 

“Is that everyone?” Darren looks around to the houses around them. “I think we sang to everyone right?”

“You didn’t sing to me,” Chris says, pouting. “I wanna be sung to.” 

He’s staring at Darren with big, sad eyes. 

“Oh no,” Joey says, faintly. “Darren, make him put those away. I can’t handle the sad eyes.” 

Chris’s lower lip juts out a tiny bit more. 

“Babe,” Darren says reaching out and grabbing Chris’s hand and pulling him in close. “Santa Daddy, slip a collar under the tree, for me. Been an awful good boy. Santa Daddy, want to hurry down your chimney tonight.” 

Darren waggles his eyebrows and spins them both around in the cul-de-sac. “Santa Daddy, I want a plug, that fits oh so snug. Just wanna hurry down your chimney tonight. Think of all the fun I’ve missed, all the boys I didn’t kiss. Next year, I’ll be oh so good if you’ll check off my Christmas list, Santa Daddy.” Darren ends the song with a twirl, dipping Chris. 

“How was that Santa?”

“... was chimney his dick?” Joey looks a bit confused, not sure if he should be turned on or not. 

“Chimney is definitely my dick,” Chris says. He’s staring at Darren with absolute hearts in his eyes. “That was beautiful. You serenaded me! For Christmas! I love you so much.” 

He pulls Darren to him and cups his face and kisses him hard on the mouth, hot and deep with his lips parted and his tongue sliding against Darren’s. 

“What next?” Joey says, bouncing. “We hitting another street?” 

“No,” Chris says, because his boy just _serenaded_ him, and he’s still oh so drunk but he’s got one goal in mind now and it isn’t more singing. 

“Ughh,” Joey says, sighing dramatically. “You’re gonna fuck now, aren’t you.” 

“We,” Chris says. “Are definitely gonna fuck now.” 

“Wait, we? _We_?” Joey repeats, interest growing. “Oh. Oh I’m definitely down for that.” 

“What kind of Santa would Santa be if he didn’t let his favorite elf fuck his favorite reindeer?” Darren teases, walking ahead and shaking his ass where his little reindeer tail goes back and forth slightly. 

“Oh, Santa isn’t going to fuck his favorite reindeer,” Chris says darkly. Darren whips his head back around to look at Chris, eyebrows jumping as he thinks he knows what Chris is saying. 

“Ooh…? Are we…?” Darren bites his lip and hurries, following Chris home quickly. 

*

Chris is definitely sure he’s still drunk, since somehow he does end up dressed as Santa with leather suspenders and a leather riding crop and assless red pants and no shirt onon. 

But it’s worth it for the look on Darren’s face when Chris walks out with a literal red velvet bag full of their special toys flung over his shoulder. 

“Ho ho ho,” Chris says, trying for sultry and probably coming out ridiculous instead. “Have you been good little boys this year? Good enough get to sit on Santa’s lap and feel his candy cane?” 

“Oh god,” Joey groans, shaking his head and chuckling a bit to himself. 

“Oh god,” Darren groans, whining and nodding. “I’ve been so good Daddy.” He hurries over and gives Chris a wide-eyed look. “Can I sit on your lap Sir?”

Chris settles onto the armchair they have, patting his lap. “Come on, then. Tell me what’s on your wishlist for Christmas this year.” 

“Got room on that lap for two?” Joey asks, smirking. 

Chris shakes his head. “No, no. You’re Santa’s elf. You get to look in Santa’s bag and find some… special presents for this little reindeer. Boy. Reindeer boy.” 

Somehow Chris manages to say it with a straight face. 

Darren grins and bounces into Chris’s lap, settling himself in. “I’ve been a very good boy this year Santa,” he says with wide eyes. 

Joey snorts from behind Chris and Darren just glares. 

“I don’t know what I want but I’m sure _you_ do Sir.” 

Joey rustles through the bag looking through their toys and smirking when he picks one up he recognizes and then drops it back into the bag. He then pulls out a cylinder of silicone with a hole on one end and a larger hole at the other surrounded by what looks like a much wider base. He holds it, looking through it and trying to figure out what its for. It’s long and thick and has a decent weight. 

“Oh, I do… and I have to make a confession,” Chris says. “These special presents are things you’ve seen before. But… you haven’t had a chance to play with these toys with any… special friends.” 

Chris glances pointedly at Joey, who still seems slightly confused by what he’s looking at. 

Joey holds the toy up in his hands upside down and shoots Chris a look. 

Darren looks over at Joey and his eyes widen. “You mean… with… with Joey?” Darren’s eyes widen and he looks back at Chris hopefully.

“With Joey,” Chris says. 

“Joey is what with the who now huh,” Joey says, still turning the knotting sex sleeve around in his hands. 

“Joey,” Chris says. “Is going to have a lot of fun. And reindeer is about to magically turn into a puppy.” 

“Pup-” Joey actually drops the dildo, then manages to catch it again before it hits the ground. Chris is glad; sanitizing those things are a real bitch. “Oh. So I guess this makes sense now.” 

He holds up the tail butt plug. 

“Exactly,” Chris says, please. “Now do you want to get that ready and give puppy his tail?” 

Darren bites down on the edge of his lip and wiggles in Chris’s lip. “Can I get down from Santa’s lap to get ready?” Darren asks hopefully. Behind him, Joey begins to dig around and find the large bottle of lube and warms it between his hands. 

“You may,” Chris says, though he stays settled back in his chair. Right now he just wants to watch. 

Darren slides down off of Chris’s lap and onto the floor where he kneels waiting for Joey. 

“Am I supposed to…?” Joey gestures towards Darren and he nods. “Right. Right.” It’s still overwhelming when he’s in charge when they play together. He does much better when Chris gives him direct directives. 

“Right.” Joey says again and then begins to pull Darren’s boxers down and off, tossing them aside. He spills lube into his hand and presses a single finger to the outside of Darren’s hole and gently begins to rub in a circular motion. This he’s used to. He’s done this before and faced with Darren’s ass he’s always going to go all in. 

Darren lowers his chest, keeping his ass high in the air as he widens his knees, opening himself up more for Joey. 

“Ooh, gorgeous,” Joey murmurs, his fingertip slipping in slightly as Darren opens up for him. Leaning forward, Joey presses a kiss above his hole, tongue sliding down before he pulls his finger out and slides his tongue in. 

Chris lifts an eyebrow, not that either of them see it. He didn’t _tell_ Joey to do that… but he didn’t tell Joey not to do that, either. He decides that for the moment he’ll just wait and see how this unfolds. 

And how it folds is: Joey, with his face buried in Darren’s ass for about two minutes before he pulls back, mouth wet. He gets the plug with it’s tidy little bulb end all slicked up with lube and slides it in easily, giving Darren a tail to happily shake. 

“Good boy,” Chris murmurs, meaning both of them. 

Darren moans softly into his arm where he’s got his head buried into his arms. He shakes his ass back and forth, feeling the happy furry swish of his tail brushing against his back legs. He shivers happily. 

“Do I look good Daddy?” Darren asks, turning his head to the side, wagging his tail for him. 

“Fuck. I don’t know if I’m drunk enough for how horny this is making me.” Joey reaches back and snags the bottle of whiskey and tips it back, taking a long drink. He wasn’t expecting to have his dick throb at seeing the long fluffy tail Darren is sporting. Or for it to be a thing he’d like. Or to find him wagging it happily to really, really do something to him. 

Chris knows from experience that the plug left in for a few minutes will stretch Darren enough to take the rest, but they need to find a way to occupy themselves for a few minutes while his body adjusts. 

“You should share a drink with puppy,” Chris says, rubbing a hand along his own dick while he watches them. “He gets thirsty, you know.” 

“Uhh-” Joey hands Darren the whiskey. 

Darren just stares at it. Puppies have paws, not hands. 

“He can’t take it,” Chris says, trying to be helpful. “You should take a drink and pass it to him that way.” 

Joey groans. “Shotgunning, sure. Okay, sure.” 

He knocks back a drink and then leans in to give Darren an open mouthed kiss, transferring at least a shot’s worth. 

Darren swallows it down greedily, chasing Joey’s mouth with his tongue to lick eagerly at the taste. 

“Does he… talk like this?” Joey asks, unsure of how or what this form of play is like. 

“Mm, I talk. Don’t I Daddy?”

“Can’t get him to shut up sometimes,” Chris says. He laughs, hand in his own pants now, just lazily stroking himself. “He’s especially good at begging.” 

“Mm, want to hear me beg Joey?” 

“I don’t know if I can deal with all this.” He takes another swig of the whiskey, letting it burn all the way down. “Yeah. Yeah, beg for me pup.”

Darren groans and shakes his ass. “Want my bone. I’ve been such a good boy, can I have my bone? Please, please sir?” 

“Check the bag again,” Chris says, knowing there’s more in there. 

Joey reaches into it and pulls out Darren’s malleable bone toy. It’s meant more as a novelty for kids than dogs, but it’s safe to chew on. 

Darren especially loves to sink his teeth into it while he’s getting fucked, growling around it. 

“Toss it and make him fetch,” Chris instructs. It hits all the right spots when Darren’s moving on all fours across a room. 

“Motherfucking kinky fuckers-” Joey says under his breath, tossing the bone a few feet away. 

Darren grins back at Joey and rushes after his bone, grabbing it and biting down on the rubber. He makes his way back, hips swinging. “Want my cock,” Darren begs, giving Chris a look and then back to Joey. 

“You’ve got his cock in your hand,” Chris says, drunk enough to not be able to resist giggling at how bewildered Joey looks. 

“Uh-” Realization dawns on Joey’s face, finally. “So what, I put it on?” 

“You put it on me,” Chris says, pushing his own pants down and kicking them off. He is one hundred and ten percent ridiculous right now in a Santa hat and a hard on and nothing else, but he doesn’t even care because Joey and Darren are both eating him alive with their eyes. 

Darren’s eyes widen at _Chris_ wearing it and he practically shakes from excitement. “Oh. Oh yes. Yes, put it on Daddy. Want to see you wearing it.” He whines softly in the back of his throat as Chris takes it, lubes his cock up and begins to slide it on. It takes a bit of tugging and pulling for him to get it on and to the base of his cock. It’s long and thick and stands out proudly in between Chris’s thighs and Darren wants to moan the vision is just so obscene. 

“ _Fuck_.” Joey groans, reaching down and fists his cock. “You two… what the fuck are you doing to me. Jesus _fuck_.” 

“We’re healthy adults with a healthy consenting sexual relationship, Joseph,” Chris says, reaching out and swiping the whiskey from him to take a long shot. “Sometimes that includes pretending we’re dogs and fucking.” 

Darren woofs again, and shakes his tail. 

Joey actually falls over laughing. “I love you both so much. Am I allowed to call you bitches in heat?” 

“No,” Chris says. “That’s disrespectful.” 

Joey throws the bone again. Darren goes after it, because - that’s what puppies do. 

He brings it back to Chris, who says, “You ready, boy?” 

“Fuck yes. So yes. Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me,” Darren drops the bone between his hands and lifts his ass higher in the air, shaking it back and forth. “Need it, need it so bad please, please fuck me-- need you to fuck me--” He whines and pushes his ass back into Chris’s hands. 

“Jesus fuck he’s so _needy_ \--” Joey’s eyes widen as he continues rubbing his cock. “Is he always this needy when he’s like this??”

“Always,” Chris says. He starts lubing up the sleeve that his cock is snugged into. “Take the plug out of him?” 

Joey tugs it out, no longer laughing as Darren howls mournfully. (It’s a good thing Wookie is asleep upstairs or she’d probably be joining in.)

“Now, baby,” Chris says, rubbing a hand over Darren’s hip. “Get in position?” 

Darren whines and adjusts, knees wide, head on his arms, ass in the air -- open and waiting. He feels Chris’s hand on his hip and takes a deep breath as he waits eagerly. Moans slip out of his mouth as he feels the tip just resting at his rim. “ _Please_ \--” He begins to beg before Chris moves and slides in up to the knot. 

Chris doesn’t even try for the knot to begin with. Darren’s gotta earn that, he’s gotta work his way up to that. 

And it’s more fun for Chris this way, rocking slowly back and forth into Darren. He can’t feel that much through the sleeve but his body still responds to the motion and he’s still hard as a rock, fucking in and out. 

“That looks obscene,” Joey says, now slouched against the floor jerking off again. He’s the one who has come most recently of all of them but that’s not stopping him from enjoying the show in a tactile way.

“So-- good--” Darren pants and ruts back against Chris, trying for more. “I want it please Sir, please let me have it!” 

“What does he want?” Joey grabs for the whiskey bottle with his other hand and takes another shot. 

Chris reaches for Joey’s hand and pulls it to feel the rubber covering his dick. He curls Joey’s fingers around the knot there. “This.” 

“And he likes that?” Joey asks. 

Chris grins. “He fucking loves it.” 

It’s big - not as big as some of Darren’s plug, but still sizeable enough for Darren to feel it when it goes in. 

“Do it,” Joey says, eyes staring straight at where Chris is rocking the toy in and out of Darren. “I want to see him take that. He’s going to stretch--- fuck--” Joey’s eyes stay right on Darren, where he’s whining and twisting and trying to work himself back and where Chris keeps him in hand, not letting him move any further down. 

“Please--” Darren practically sobs into his arm, so turned on but still not getting what he wants. “I need it Sir--” 

Chris chuckles darkly and Darren feels his fingers dig in harder as he thrusts in hard and begins to push, working the knot into Darren and pushing him open. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, oh yeah. Yeah work him open on that Chris,” Joey groans, voice husky and deep as he watches. 

The knot pops in, snug just past Darren’s rim. He feels Darren go wild and he keeps thrusting in with short little jerks of his hips, not wanting to force the knot in and out and hurt Darren but unable to stop moving entirely. 

“Are you a good boy? Are you being a good boy?” Chris asks. 

Darren whimpers in response. 

“If you’re very good then maybe Joey will give you a hand,” Chris says, catching Joey’s eye. “Do you want to fuck his fist, baby?” 

“Yeah,” Joey says breathlessly. “Yeah.” 

Joey quickly moves forward to wrap a hand around Darren’s dick. He barely has to do anything, Darren shoving himself forward with each movement of Chris’s hips. They’ve done this often enough that Joey knows how Darren likes it and it doesn’t take long before Darren is whining and panting and so very, very close. 

“Sir, I need-- I can’t-- Fuck-- Gotta come Sir--” Darren hangs his head down in between his arms and tries to keep his orgasm at bay until Chris has given him the go ahead. 

“Go ahead. We all know you’re really a naughty puppy, might as well make a mess.” Chris grins and pushes in a bit more forcefully. 

He knows that plus what he’s saying is enough for Darren to just let go completely. He can see the glazed over look on Joey’s face, even if he can’t feel much. 

As soon as Darren’s done, Chris gingerly pulls the knot out of Darren. He’s so turned on that his fingers are shaking as he get the sleeve off of him and the squeezes his own achingly hard dick a couple times. The lube from his fingers smears onto his skin and he fucks back into Darren bare, not even warning him. 

It only takes him a few thrusts to start coming. 

Darren shouts, Chris’s thrusts harder without the sleeve. “Oh jesus--” Darren is panting and his dick wants to try so hard to get hard again but it jerks slightly, dribbling a bit more come out and that’s all that happens. 

“Chris, I need… Fuck I wanna… Wanna fuck his ass now.” Joey grabs his dick with a fist, squeezing tight to keep his own orgasm at bay. 

Chris pulls out. “Go ahead. You can fuck him now.” 

He moves around to the front of Darren and curls his fingers through Darren’s hair, clenching just hard enough to hurt as he forces Darren’s face up. He loves this view, Darren with his eyes almost tearing up from how hard he’s come and how hard he’s being used, the puddle of come underneath him. 

He can see it resonate through Darren like a shockwave when Joey thrusts in. “You can take one more load, can’t you, beautiful?”

“Oooh, yes. Yeah, I can--” Darren shudders happily at Chris’s words. He feels used, pleasantly so and so deliciously dirty. Joey’s hard thrusts are on just the right side of too much and Darren pushes his knees wider, letting Joey sink his cock in that much further. 

“OH!” Darren gasps as Joey grinds his dick in deeper and then he’s brushing over that wonderful bundle of nerves and making Darren jerk underneath him. 

“Yeah, yeah I hit the spot didn’t I?” Joey growls softly and slaps a hand down on Darren’s ass, watching it jiggle as he shoves in. “Close, close, so fucking close. Gonna fill your ass all the way up--” He gives Darren one final slap before shoving in and shouting as he comes harder than he has in his life. 

If he were sober, Chris might have issues with exactly how forward Joey is being… but he’s not. He’s not sober at all and right now he’s just enjoying the live action porn happening in front of and _for_ him. 

Chris giggles and says, “Oh, he liked that. He liked that a lot, didn’t he?” 

“Yeah he fucking did,” Joey says, pulling out basically flopping onto the ground. “Immasleepnow.” 

Chris snickers. He’s not even sure if Joey is drunk or just… fucked out. 

“C’mon,” Chris says, holding his hands down to Darren. “Let’s get you cleaned up. And then, mm. Bed.” 

Darren whimpers softly and allows Chris to gently maneuver him into their large shower. He's feeling tired and body used and in need of all the cuddles. He tucks his face into Chris's neck, letting him wash them both and maneuver them into bed, never really moving far from Chris's body. 

“Tired,” Darren slurs as he slides naked into bed. He waits for Chris before curling around him and passing out. They both sleep, whether sleeping off the alcohol or just trying to rest from the fucking, Darren's not sure. He wakes up thirsty, body already aching and head pounding slightly. 

Chris wakes up moments after Darren, just from feeling the motion on the bed beside of him. “Oh,” he says, groaning. “Fuck.” 

Darren’s noise from where his face is pressed into a pillow is equally pathetic. 

“Okay,” Chris says, even though Darren hasn’t actually asked him anything. 

He gets up on wobbly legs and walks out of the bedroom and down the hallway. Joey isn’t asleep on the floor anymore, so he must have found his way into his own bedroom at some point. 

The whiskey bottles and sex toys are still strewn around. Chris will definitely take care of that. Later. Much later. 

For now, he just goes into the kitchen and pours two tall glasses of water then grabs the entire bottle of headache tablets to take back with him. 

Darren whimpers when Chris comes back with meds. He clings to the pillow as long as he can before Chris finally pries him onto his back. 

“Fine. Thank you,” he mumbles quietly, taking the meds. “Come back to bed? And cuddle me? ...gently?”

“Gentle cuddles,” Chris agrees, crawling back in bed. He’s immensely glad that they showered before getting into bed, because at least the sheets smell clean and so do they. He’s not sure he’d want to know what it would smell like if they’d gone straight from threesome to bed. (Actually, he doesn’t need to wonder. He knows. There’s a reason he prioritized showering this time.) “And more sleep.” 

“God yes.” Darren kisses whatever nearby skin he can reach. “Merry Christmas Cee. That was amazing.”

Chris falls asleep with carols lingering in his head and a smile on his face.

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on [tumblr](http://alittledizzy.tumblr.com)! or [twitter](http://www.twitter.com/alittledizzy)! or don't! your choice! happy holidays!
> 
> follow mav on [savvymavvy](http://savvymavvy.tumblr.com)! because she's the bestest and also v cute!


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